Friday, 5 October 2012

Ed Milliband the happy slug

Ed Miliband reminds me of a slug. you can almost see the slime ooze out of him. that slimy smile, that slimy voice, the way his eyes recede into his head when you poke them. maybe we should attack him with salt and watch him melt away. I've just watched his speech from the labour conference and now even I feel slimy just from looking at him. Everyone saying that it was his best speech so far, erm.. it's not hard! He could have gone out there and said 'I like men' and that still would have been his best speech so far. Isn't it cute when people laugh at their own crappy jokes? And excuse me if I'm wrong but I thought he was the leader of the labour party? So why is he trying to bring back Benjamin Disraeli's idea of 'one nation'? That was a conservative move which tried to stop the lower classes rising against the ruling classes back in the 1800s, not the inspirational, selfless feat they seem to think it was. This speech has just proved that all of the 3 main parties are, deep down conservatives. They may act like they're miles apart from each other in the political spectrum but the British public, in reality, have three choices- right wing, right wing or right wing. We truly are a conservative nation. Hallelujah!
Can you imagine if good ol' Ed became the figurehead of our country? A happy little oblivious slug with a little annoying nasally voice and no real or original ideas about how to rescue this country.

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